Tales from the Hot Plasma tavern
by BlackTyrantValvatorez
Summary: There is a tavern out there that is home to all sorts of wacky hijinks that would make the Looney Tunes proud. Its name is the Hot Plasma and this is a collection of the many stories and adventures that the place has held host to. (Note: I do not own any of the franchises that show up in this story.)


The Hot Plasma Tavern, unknown star system, 07:45 local time.

In the reaches of space, somewhere outside of telescope range, is a tavern. This tavern is notable for being 100000 times larger than Jupiter since the tavern is an artificial planetoid. It has multiple entrances and airlocks to ensure that anything can enter and live in the tavern. It is a refuge where any and all can retreat to when they need to drown their sorrows in alcohol, a place that can support 105,999,999,000,000,000 life forms, a booze-drinker's paradise, a mechanical planet, a lover's sanctuary, a brawler's heaven, a bar where even the dead can come for a drink. This place is called 'The Hot Plasma Tavern' and nothing, not even a Class-Z Apocalypse, is capable of destroying it.

Inside one of the 10,000,000,000,000,025 barrooms of the Hot Plasma Tavern, a Guard Scorpion is drowning its sorrows in alcohol, specifically large 12-pint glasses of beer. Next to it on the right is Optimus Prime, doing the same, but with smaller, but still large 6-pint glasses of unspecified alcoholic beverages. On the left, Doctor Nefarious Tropy is drinking away his sorrow with the aid of glasses of champagne. Next to Optimus is one of the G.I. Joes, Shipwreck, drinking up several bottles of the Cybran alcoholic beverage called Minerva's Swamp. Next to him, in order, are: Sazh Katzroy, the Crimson Chin, Superman, Zero from the Megaman X series, Link, Heavy Weapons Guy, Fuka Kazamatsuri, Goku, Ryu, and Bender. Next to Doctor Tropy is Vlad Masters, drinking fine wine. Next to him, in order are: Vladimir Makarov, Vikas, The Penguin, Judge Gabranth, Sauron, Ghetsis, Doctor Heinz Doofenshmirtz, Hex5, Mr. Burns, and Bowser. Between Bender and Bowser sat none other than Brave Fencer Musashi.

Hex5: "Let's drink to our friends who gave their lives to defend this place from the Chaos Gods."

Everyone: "To our fallen comrades." They all drank the alcoholic beverages that they were served.

Sazh: "Man, it be some serious crap rollin' down out in the universes that we be originatin' from."

Vikas: "No kidding. The story of Joss is what's going on where I'm from right now."

Zero: That's that slayer guy from Vladimir Tod, right?"

Vikas: "The very same. But I have no regrets since I died in Twelfth Grade Kills and that Joss's story prowls into what's going on with the boy as he serves the Slayer Society."

Bender: "Sounds like they would probably hate robots or zombies if they replaced vampires."

Vikas: "Who knows what the f*** a slayer is thinking in their heads. Some of them can even block telepathy."

Ryu: "The rumors about the slayers being stronger than most humans. . . is that true, Vikas?"

Doof: "Preposterous! There is no scientific proof that a sub-species of human exists that is stronger than the ordinary lot! Goku doesn't count since he isn't human, but Humanoid."

Gabranth: "Doof, you don't know what the f*** you're talking about!"

Doof: "Judge Gabranth, your comment is unwanted!"

Gabranth: "Your FACE is unwanted, Doof!"

Doof: "Your MOTHER is unwanted!"

Gabranth: "Your mother's a whore!"

Doof then throws an empty bottle at Gabranth, who just avoids it and it hits an Uruk-Hai sitting at another table.

Uruk-Hai: "BAR FIGHT!"

Suddenly the whole barroom erupted into chaos as tables were overturned, chairs were smashed, bottles were shattered, and other furniture was broken while every now and then a guy could be seen punching another guy. The Guard Scorpion casually dodged bottles thrown in its general direction as its tail whirred and drilled holes into the skulls of anything that got too close to the machine, including Superman and the Crimson Chin, both of whom were completely smashed and crap-faced when the bar brawl started. After about ten minutes of heavy brawling, the Guard Scorpion came out on top, having knocked out everyone but the bartender, who was Moe Szyslak.

Despite the holes in the skulls of people, nobody died in the brawl since the Hot Plasma tavern is saturated with nano-machines that constantly treat serious and fatal wounds instantaneously and effectively.


End file.
